Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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