Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have fence marks all over my body
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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