Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
