This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My orgasm happened in two different decades
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
