First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
