The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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