i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
