Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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