3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
