I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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