i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
