Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
