ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
