Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
