If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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