Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
