I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
