Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize