was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize