You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
