I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
