then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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