if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just want nice things and good sex
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
