just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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