she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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