I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
