I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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