Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
