I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize