when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
