theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
try to milk me bitch
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
