Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize