Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
