They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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