gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
