Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize