This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize