You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
