Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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