put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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