You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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