I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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