Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
