Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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