He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
