I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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