i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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