Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
