So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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