therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
