I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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