It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
