it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
