dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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