Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
