This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
