I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
