I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
