at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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