dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize