So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
