Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
