is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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