I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
