Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
