I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
