now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
