i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
