I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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